Journey Thru Grief
Home | About Me | Our Story | Early Days | First Weeks | Returning to Life | The First | First Year | My Son | Encouragement | Memorial to Loved Ones | Dreams Do Come True | Sharing Ourselves | Special Friends | Favorite Links | Reading Room | Traveling Thru Grief | After-Life | E-cards! | Chat Center/Message Board | Special Thanks! | Webrings | Contact Me
Early Days

First Few Days

From the moment the physician told me that my husband didn't make it, I went numb. Nothing was real to me. I had no concept of how to proceed and what was expected of me. I left the hospital emergency room with a friend. As soon as I got home, I began the hardest phones calls I will ever make. I had to contact our children and let them know their father had just passed away. For support, I called a real close friend and she immediately came to my house to help me with the details. She stayed for several days. I will always be grateful for her friendship and support.

Funeral Arrangements

Before I left the hospital, I gave the nurses the name of the nearest funeral home. Later that evening, the funeral director called me to let me know that my husband had arrived and to offer their condolences. The next day, I called them, when I was ready and sat up an appointment for later in the afternoon to make the arrangements. They helped me to make the arrangements that I was comfortable with. I was lucky. My husband's family already had a family plot in one of the local cemetaries. My brother-in-law gave up his spot to me so I would know that I always will have a place next to my husband. Our minister was willing to provide the service for my husband. The arrangements were completed.

The Day of the Funeral

This was the most unreal day of my life. I snuck out of the house and spent some time with my husband, alone at the funeral home. When it was time for the funeral, I had the hardest time leaving him. I had to take that final walk down the aisle, while they closed the casket. I felt as if my own life was ending. The service was really wonderful but I really don't remember much. At the grave side, the weather was beautiful. Up in the sky, the clouds were in the form of an anchor. I will never know for sure, it if was to symbolize my husband's years of service in the US Navy or our youngest child's new adventures of following his father's foot steps. I was in pain. I knew what was gonna happen to the love of my life. He was being put in the ground. This was not real.

After Funeral Get-together

I'm not sure where the tradition originated but it seems that people, especially the family, expects a meal after the funeral. I was horrified at the thought. All I wanted to do was to be alone. To my surprise, my employer closed our office for the funeral. All my co-workers got together and provided the traditional meal at my home. I knew absolutely nothing about it. It was a party in my husband's honor where everyone shared memories of his life. I was totally shocked. However, it did work out alright. Remember, I was still numb. My husband always enjoyed entertaining his family.